I have loved you with a perfect love!

There are so many ways in which love is portrayed in this world. Love of family and friends is an obvious one and also very acceptable,  right and for most us easily acheived.

But what if love is not so freely given, with no strings? What if the love offered has strings attatched to it?

I will love you if...What sacrifices of self are we willing to pay to get it? I will do___if you just show me love for a moment? What things in life do we feel we need to achieve or accumulate in order to feel worthy of love? Is it money? Things? Or is it the lies we tell ourselves. That we will be good enough to love if we are pretty enough, skinny enough, funny enough, strong enough, proud enough or conceited enough, surely I will be loved. The flip side of this is the darker side of love,, we learn that if we are pathetic enough, if we pity ourselves enough surely we will be loved.


I look at these and so quickly want to deny it all, to run from the pain and confusion that will be remeberd if I answer those questions. I want to deny that I attempted all of the above in my desparate search for love and acceptance from anyone who would offer it no matter what price I had to pay. Oh and I paid, dearly and deeply.

So what does it mean "I have loved you with a perfect love." Kay, so those who know me, know that I feel really awkward when I hear people say things like,,, "God told me...'' or "I feel God is saying...." I just never really experienced it, thought I did but questioned it, but this time I know HE told me something. One simple sentance that caught my attention and I FINALLY GOT IT. I was at a ladies day retreat and we were doing a 'close your eys and listen to what God has to say to you excercsie' awkward moment for me.

So in my frustration, not wanting to be vulnerable but throwing caution to the wind. I said (in my head not out loud cause I was supposed to be quiet, sigh) okay God, what do you want to tell me. I was sure there would be a long awkward silence. Weird,,, it was instant, like the second, no the milli-second after I muttered my last words, without a doubt God said to me,," I HAVE LOVED YOU WITH  A PERFECT LOVE". I would love to say I broke into tears and was appropriatly graceful and appreciative that the GOD of the universe would talk to me. I was however a little weirded out and doubtful,, and tried to tell myself that surely I had heard that from someone, somewhere at some point in my life... but then I did a quick recap of my past. Nope. No one would have said that to me.

So what does it mean to be loved with a perfect love? Besides being awesome? To me it is balm to my scarred soul, it is total acceptance and most of all a sense of peace, of quiet rest for my soul. A realization that who I am is enough, just the way I am, cause God made me this way. Made me impulsive, excitable, talkitive, outgoing, shy and a fighter.

So I ponder what perfect love is. I know how insanely and passionatley I love my children and my husband. If I love them that much despite the brokenness I feel inside, how much more does God love my kids? Love me? My Husband? WOW kinds takes my breath away.

So if God tells me in Dueteronomy 5:10 that He will show love to a thousand generations of those who love Me and keep My commandments - then that is exactly what I am going to do. Remember, I ran before and lost so much. No more running from, now I am running to! So the fear that has kept me away from what is right and what is good is again being broken. The lies told my soul are being proven as just that, lies.

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, beacause fear involves torment. But he who fears is not made perfect in love.- 1 John 4:18. So, am I brave enough to love my family and friends with abandon? To love my neighbor? To love the other kids brought into my life through my own kids? Am I brave enough to love THE ONE? Am I finally ready love myself with complete abandon and forgivness?


SeekingHIM