Random ramblings

In my excitement to get started I put my intro in the wrong 'spot', so here I am editing it so it can be just so. At times I do think I may,, kinda sorta have some organizational issues,,, working on that one. That is a whole new blog for another day. So getting back to what I was hoping to write about in the first place.

What does the title mean to me, 'Rebuilding the Ancient Ruins.' It is actuall a long story of exactly that. This is a journey I have been on for 15 years, almost half of my life. The ruins I come from are deep and painful. Fear being the root and from it pain, hurt, rejection, shame, and so much more was birthed. What does a young girl of 16 do with all that?
Well, this one made a bigger mess of things and ran from the ONE who could bindup my wounds and set me free.

I ran to everything my father warned me to stay away from, but since he was that cause of so much of my wounding how could I trust what he said, even though part of me knew and longed to believe. How could I beleive in the GOD my father preached about when there was so much rejection? so much brokenness? How could I believe there was a GOD who could work a miracle in my brokenness, in my inherited sin-tendencies? how could I hope for anything different? I did not know that fathers hugged their daughter and told them they were beautifull princesses. Nor did I beleive that I was a princess of the mighyt KING!

I did not know that GOD would "comfort all who mourn. Provide for those who grieve in Zion, that HE would give them beauty for ashes. The oil of joy for mourning. The garment of praise for the spirit of heaviness;" Isaiah 61:3

And this is where I discovered HIS promise to me! I was stunned the first time I read this! How cool was it to find something that I felt was writtin just for me! "And they shall rebuild the old ruins, They shall raise up the former desolations, And they shall repair the ruined cities, the desolstions of many generations." Isaiah 61:4 Neat huh?

So this is me, standing and fighting against what was and holding onto the promise that it does not always have to be. Where I came from will not be the legacy I leave my children or my grandchildren. It has been promised to me by GOD himslef. Author Jim Burns calls me the 'Transitional Parent Generation' and I guess that does describe me.

I am exctied to be posting my thoughts out there in the world as I go through this journey called life. I am thrilled that I am under the grace of GOD and HE is going to take me and mine to places and joys that I only dreamed of as a little scared girl. So I guess a question is,, how can I so blindly follow GOD and believe what HE has for me? The other option I tried and it nearly destroyed me. I could not bear being the cause of that kind of pain for my children. So I walk forward, not alone, I have GOD leading me and friends who encourage and pray for me and a church family who allows me to be me, warts and all. ( i don't really have warts)

Well, that is my ramblings and a piece of me and my history.

Seeking HIM