Thursday, November 5, 2009

When one little duck falls.......

Well, just when I felt I had all my ducks lining up so nicely, one fell out of line. My poor little duck was suspended from school yesterday. As I struggle through all the emotions of being the mom of a child who got suspended, one that stands out above the others is an intense sense of failure. I understand why my little duck was suspended and I am trying to be supportive of the schools decision. I also try not to feel to sorry for my little duck, after all it was as a result of choices he made. I want to resist the desire to grab my little duck and tuck him back under my wing. I want to run away with him and keep him happy, safe and comfortable.

But,,,,,
life is not always comfortable, easy or happy. Nor should I make it so for him. He is, after all 10. So how do I parent my duck from a place of authority, grace, truth and compassion? How do I communicate the need for change within him yet let him know he is accepted as he is as well? So many thoughts and doubts going around in my head that it can at times be crippling, kinda like the dear in the headlights thing,, That is def the way to describe how I am feeling right now. Not really sure which direction to take. I know what I want his life to look like, but does he want it enough? Am I strong enough and brave enough to try a new thing? To begin again? To throw out the old misconceptions of parenting from a place of punishment? Cause the old way is not working. It is eviident in the results we are seeing or rather not seeing in our little duck.

As I look at my littel duck, he is soon going to become a gangly teenager, and I realize that I may have tried to keep him a little duck for to long. Okay fine, I have kept him a little duck for to long. It is time for him to find his footing and fully face the consequences of his decisions and for us as parents to fully equip him witht he tools he needs to succeed. It will require a rewiring of our thoughts and habits as well as his.

I am so thankful I have people in my life who are willing to be honest and truthful with me. Who want the best for my little duck. They see the potential in him, they see past the poor choices to the heart of a young duck who is struggling to find his way in this big world.

SeekingHIM

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