HE never promised Rebuilding the Ancient Ruins would be easy.

What I feel like I am going through these past few days is another renovation of the heart. This one really hurts! It hurts because I am not the only one who is hurting, now my son is involved. I laid in my bed last night and just wept. I wept for my son, for the struggles he is going through and may continue to go through. I wept for myself, cause I had to accept that there was something going on in his little heart that my love alone could not fix. I wept for his father, who does not understand why his son makes the choices he makes. The tears are still there, just under the surface. I feel like I am grieving a dream, a reality,,,

So now what,,,,


 well, now the hard work begins, again. Any of you who have been through some tough things in your life know what I am talking about. Getting from point A to point B is often a difficult process and a painful one. It is a process you cannot do alone. You cannot do it on your own strength.

I am so thankful that God knows the desires of our hearts. That HE knows what we need and that HE wants good things for us and our children. HE does not, however, promise an easy road to achieve those things. I am so thankful that HE opens doors for us even when we are not looking for that particualr door. While in tears last night I asked God in my desparation to "Please help me! I do not know what to do!?" I was referring to school choices and possible changes,,,

Funny how God heard the question differently and sent me in a whole new direction this morning. One of hope......

For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. Jeremiah 29:11 (NIV)

Oh,, if I can just rest in that over the next few months, cause I know there is no quick fix to what we are needing to face as a family, but the beautiful thing is we are not facing it alone. We have each other and most of all we have God who is moment by moment interceding for us. HE wants us to reach point B and he will never leave us or forsake us. The love I have for my son pales in comparison to HIS perfect love for him.

God also knows we need people to come along side us and teach us new things, to show us what is missing in the foundation that is causing bits and pieces to crumble. So in a few weeks we begin counselling, as parents and for our son as well. And would you know how much HE cares? God knows I have a hard time trusting others with my children, trusting strangers. We know our counsellor and she knows us, she loves the Lord and is eager to meet and work with our son. I am so loved by my FATHER that he cares about those small details.

So we are going to bravely (most of the time) walk the path set out before us. We do not walk it alone. It reminds me of  Psalm 23 that I read and memorized as a child,,

(2) He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, (3) he restores my soul. He guides me in paths of righteousness for his name's sake.(4)Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me.

We may bein the valley right know, but I will seek the Lord in those green pastures and quiet waters of peace and wait. I know HE will make the difference in my sons life. He did mine.
 
SeekingHIM